Me whenever my mother shows concern over my très enviable dietary restraint.
I’m sure that most of you can agree with me that having frostbite in the dead of summer is the worst.
People who choose to imbibe in white flour likely don’t realize what grossly misinformed lives they lead, and I can only pray that they will one day see the light.
Me whenever Jon Snow starts lecturing me on ~starvation mode~
Let’s play a game of Diet Roulette:
1. “Ohmigod, I totally forgot about dinner and scarfed down an entire Quest Bar earlier. I’m sooo full because, like, protein, you know? Oopsies!”
2. “I’ve been feeling sick, like, all day. Oily Chinese food is literally the last thing I need right now. Do you have any diet ginger ale tho?”
3. “I read an article that Chinese restaurants use LARD to cook and deep fry their dishes. Even having those potsticker vapors waft into my nostrils will be super un-vegan, so I’ll just go and sit in that corner over there.”
4. “I break out whenever I have dairy, eggs, gluten, oil, or anything not green-colored, so I’m going to have to pass. Ugh, life is just so unfair!”
5. “I just had Chinese last night so I’m not really in the mood. Looks super yum though!”
6. Pick a new group of friends, ugh.
Everyone knows that Cinderella was basically an educational documentary—get really hot and fucking royalty will fall at your feet.
Half a day of food abstinence can hardly be deemed a “fasting” period—it’s called not stuffing your goddamn face for a normal period of time.
Me whenever someone starts telling me about her 3,000 kcal LFHC diet.
It might seem impossible to be full and hungry at the same time, but all chic girls know that impossible means nothing.
"The worst thing about dieting is, like, losing lifelong friends."
— Alice Wetterlund
Every meal ever.
How many calories are burned during an anxiety attack?
“Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”
Do today what your future self will thank you for
put down the fucking bran muffin.
Only a chic girl knows what it’s like to put herself on a shopping freeze… for Whole Foods.